Thoughts & Stuff

I never felt loss before until my best friend passed away. The last time I saw him was 9/28/16 when he came over to my house. He mentioned he wasn’t feeling well, but he didn’t tell me the extent of how well he wasn’t feeling. What I thought was a stomachache was much more deadly. I think the worst part of it all is I remember the last time I said goodbye when he left my house that night. It wasn’t a normal goodbye. The air felt different as we looked at each other. I didn’t even hug him goodbye - I just said goodbye. I tired reaching out the next day and by the third day I knew something wasn’t right. Calls, texts, messages… not one reply.

I called our friend Chris to see if he had heard from him he told me “Jazzy, you know how Saykoo can be. Sometimes he goes MIA and then comes back.”
I didn’t question it anymore and by the next week I get calls from several friends “Saykoo is gone, he’s dead.”

Saykoo had died, all alone, when he was just 22 years old. His heart was too big for his body and without seeing a doctor for so many years, he had no idea. He just dealt with the pain day in and day out until his body decided to give out.

His home life wasn’t easy. His mother was abusive, his father abandoned him, and his grandmother was on her deathbed. Despite all of his hardships he was always so kind and so loving. His heart was what made everyone fall in love with him. He had this laugh that would be so addicting it became impossible not to laugh with him.

I’ve learned a lot about my body within the past week than ever before. I’ve had PCOS since I was a young girl and I always blamed my daily pain on my condition and the prescriptions I take. After 10 years of seeing multiple specialists on my pain and taking so many different medications I finally got my answer today. Not only do I have PCOS, but also endometriosis and a large complex cyst on top of my uterus that has been growing for years.

I have always left doctor offices confused and with more questions than answers. This past week has been a number of saddening phone calls telling me that I wouldn’t be able to see any surgeon for the next few months to remove this cyst. Thankfully my wonderful partner, Alex Birth, found the best OBGYN in our area and now I’ll be having surgery next week to get this cyst out of me. I’ll be able to get on the right kind of treatment for my endometriosis and finally live without pain and feel normal again.

I have never been this excited before and it’s all thanks to my partner, Alex. He really knows what I go through on a daily basis and is there to support me. He’s the reason why we found an amazing doctor and why I’ll be able to get better soon. I can’t thank him enough.

Also, if anyone needs any OBGYN care, Jack P. Ayoub, MD is absolutely incredible. He really cares for his patients and actually listens. A far cry from a doctor who told me to just take percocets for the rest of my life.